The problem with this all is that I am both so close and so far away. While I say others will dismiss it all as individual incidents, even I myself, when I step back from it a bit, think, oh woah, that's insane.
How to react? What to do with this all? What is best? What is most loving? Part of me wants to pile it all in a heap and really get that fire going, a flash of ire for all the rage I didn't even realise I had reason for until these last few months.
But I've mostly all post processed it now, moved on and got over it. Mostly.
But still, I have this "thing" here, that I'm tossing from hand to hand wondering what I should do with it. My story I guess. And stories can be powerful things. I suspect most would say to just throw it away. But maybe my story could help someone? Or maybe not. Telling it could hurt me too. But part of me just doesn't care any more.
I do know that if someone were to say to me, would you recommend engineering as a career for girls I would still straight up say absolutely not. Or at least not if you are not in the top 5% of your class. I love it as a concept - engineering is totally where it is at if you get what it is - but as a practical reality? Be very careful if you are female making such a decision. I really wish I'd had someone to advise me personally against it.
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