Being able to recognise what is happening

It has surprised me that over the last couple of weeks I am hearing more stories of
a) Women actually asking what to do if the workplace is bad
b) Being told bluntly "Leave".

I guess a) surprises me because I never really asked it. I didn't realise I could. I am very happy to hear of it being asked because this means that more and more women are realising, this is BS and it's not *my* fault. This is very good to hear. This recognition is such a key survival thing.

Now in what has to be hilarious timing  we get these adds from Microsoft *blaming* women for leaving STEM. And here is a fabulous response to this this.

Now I would just like to remind you that this is the same Microsoft that, while very apologetic that it happened, their own employees the product of their own Microsoft culture and policies thought it was ok to have strippers dressed as schoolgirls at an industry party. Say what they like about what they supposedly believe but somehow their beliefs didn't get communicated to middle and lower employees here.

So b) surprises me I guess as maybe I was hoping for a different response? I mean, we're makers and fixers and problem solvers in STEM, so this response is like the total opposite of that. Put that together with a culture that puts the onus on girls to smooth things over, for women to make things all right, for females to do the emotional housework. It kind of goes against the grain.

I'm sick of fighting though. It's so much frigging energy for nothing. Yesterday a colleague from across my organisation who I much admire as being up to date with industry, very capable and adaptive tell me that she's looking for jobs externally. Their section is going through a reorg and it will be the third time she'll have to negotiate for her job.

You see another huge elephant in the room, and it's in this exact same room, is, most tech jobs can be done anywhere - and so a lot of STEM jobs gets shipped off overseas. There is a casualness and insecurity about tech which is just not friendly to people with families. As women bear the brunt of families then this leaves an off taste. I asked my social media why they thought a lot of people didn't study STEM at uni and that was the response from a number of guys who are actually in IT.

There is this huge thing about needing more people with STEM skills ... and then this competing problems with culture and insecurity. I get the feelling that we're going to have to solve it by going around rather than through.