You know those feel good postcards about life?

Once upon a time I really wanted to be popular,
    because I thought that if I was popular I would be happy because everyone would like me.

Then some years later I thought, only if I would be super smart,
   because then I would get my work done really quickly, have lots of time to do more stuff, and be more useful to people. And then I would be happy.

And then I went through that stage when I thought if only I was really beautiful, and neat, and impeccably well presented, people would accept me then, and I would be happy.

I almost went through a stage thinking if I would just be super kind and nice to people then they would like me... and I would be happy. But I figured that is manipulative and I despise that. And besides we should all be nice and kind and gentle to one another any way because that is what God's ultimate will is.

I guess the big realisation is... that while all these things have some truth to them, which makes them so attractive, the thread going through all of them is me and my happiness.

And then the penny dropped.... happiness has to come from within me. And since I suffer the scars from decades of depression, I still haven't found a solution.

Life postcards are lame 5 second feel good hits.

This blog post?  I got nuthin' sorry.